April 2012
287 posts
2 tags
“The receptionist is a young African- American woman with large silver earrings...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 276. #subtlewhiteguilt
Apr 30th
137 notes
2 tags
“This is not making love, this is fucking – and I love it.”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 271. what a WHORE.
Apr 30th
35 notes
2 tags
“You’ve really got a taste for this, haven’t you, Miss Steele? You’re becoming...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 271. wow, you really like sex! imagine that.
Apr 30th
15 notes
2 tags
“Unless that company’s P&L improves, I’m not interested, Ros. We’re not...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 270. “R&D…cash-neutral…flowchart…facilitate low-risk high-yield capital…optimal networking…prioritize morale…recontextualize the quality vector…ramp up and streamline…butt plugs…Okay. Transfer me back to...
Apr 30th
92 notes
2 tags
“There is light everywhere. Bright, warm, piercing light, and I endeavor to keep...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 269. wait, so i’m confused- is it bright in the room? i think a few more wordy sentences about how much light there is would help clarify because i’m confused.
Apr 30th
91 notes
2 tags
E.L. James on US Tour →
Should I go?
Apr 30th
66 notes
2 tags
“He kisses me very softly beside my ear. “The woman who brought me into this...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 267. k goodnight! good talk!
Apr 30th
1,098 notes
2 tags
“My subconscious is furious, medusa-like in her anger, hair flying, her hands...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 262. that objectively sounds really bad. are you ok?
Apr 30th
34 notes
2 tags
“One day I will fuck you in this elevator, Anastasia, but right now you’re tired...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 260. or, you know, you guys could just go to sleep. considering you’ve fucked four times today already. just a suggestion.
Apr 30th
75 notes
2 tags
“I still want more,” I whisper. “I know,” he says. “I’ll try.” I blink up at...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 259. jesus bitch, you met him a week ago and you just met his parents AND he bought you a car. ease up.
Apr 30th
40 notes
2 tags
“This man, whom I once thought of as a romantic hero, a brave shining white...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 259. christian pictured below:
Apr 30th
135 notes
2 tags
“He stands and removes the condom, knotting it at the end, and puts it in his...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 255. this is some basketball shit right here.
Apr 27th
135 notes
2 tags
“Don’t come, or I will spank you,” he says through clenched teeth. Holy crap… how...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 255. unless christian’s dick looks like this, i’m sure you’ll be fine.
Apr 27th
35 notes
2 tags
“Over our dessert of lemon syllabub, Mia regales us with her exploits in Paris,...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 250. that’s a really great anecdote. i wish i was there to see that. i would have laughed so hard and then murdered everyone.
Apr 27th
182 notes
2 tags
“Little Miss European Pigtails returns, all coy glances and swaying hips, with...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 250. do you think it’s beef wellington or DO YOU FUCKING KNOW?!
Apr 27th
24 notes
2 tags
“Is she here?” I hear a screech from within the house. I glance nervously at...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 245. mia pictured below:
Apr 27th
41 notes
2 tags
“I hope that I never meet her because I will not be responsible for my actions if...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 243. that logic doesn’t really make sense…
Apr 27th
5 notes
2 tags
“She has taught him well, and the thought depresses me – there’s nothing I can...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 242-243. you ARE special, anastasia. like special ed special.
Apr 27th
21 notes
2 tags
“Frank starts crooning… an old song, one of Ray’s favorites, Witchcraft.”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 242. i don’t know why but when i first read this sentence i honestly thought it said, “Frank starts farting.” i really wish it has been that.
Apr 27th
8 notes
2 tags
“I remove the braid and hastily brush out my hair, then glance down at the drink...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 242. probably roofied.
Apr 27th
39 notes
2 tags
“I shall go meet his parents sans culottes. Anastasia Steele! My subconscious...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 242. you need to get a fucking hobby.
Apr 27th
29 notes
3 tags
Apr 27th
649 notes
2 tags
we aim to please
sorry i can’t really update today. i’ve had to actually work.
Apr 26th
2 notes
2 tags
“I feel the build up again. Jeez, no… not again… I don’t think my body will...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 236. death by orgasm. not a thing. but if it was it wouldn’t kill anyone because no one comes this much.
Apr 26th
27 notes
2 tags
“It’s only just not painful.”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 233. here’s that great sentence that isn’t an actual sentence again!
Apr 26th
66 notes
2 tags
“I do as instructed, and he reaches down and grabs the hem. Slowly, he pulls my...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 232. is there another way to pull up a dress that i don’t know about or did you really feel it necessary to go through the actual motions here?
Apr 26th
78 notes
2 tags
“My inner goddess is spinning like a world-class ballerina, pirouette after...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 231. anastasia’s inner goddess pictured below:
Apr 26th
47 notes
2 tags
“How was that?” Christian asks. “Fine, thank you. She said that I had to abstain...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 229. this is me right now:
Apr 26th
66 notes
2 tags
“Yes, Mr. Grey. Look after her; she’s a beautiful, bright young woman.”...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 229. it’s also a false thing to say because anastasia is THE WORST.
Apr 26th
13 notes
2 tags
“We shake hands, and I know she’s one of those women who doesn’t tolerate fools...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 228. well if she doesn’t tolerate fools gladly then she sure as shit isn’t going to like you.
Apr 26th
19 notes
2 tags
“Go girl! My inner goddess has her pompoms in hand – she’s in cheerleading mode.”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 224. anastasia’s inner goddess pictured below (right):
Apr 25th
27 notes
2 tags
“Bollinger Grande Année Rosé 1999, an excellent vintage.” I grin at Kate, and we...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 224. “and then i tried to finger her but she told me she didn’t like me like that and then i went to my room and cut myself. then end.” i wish.
Apr 25th
12 notes
2 tags
“His mouth falls open when he sees Kate, all tight jeans, t-shirt, hair piled...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 223. and you. don’t forget about you.
Apr 25th
6 notes
2 tags
“The apartment is not large, but it’s big enough, three bedrooms and a large...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 223. well this is where i live, so go kill yourself: i don’t live here but you get the point.
Apr 25th
12 notes
2 tags
“Kate returns about twenty minutes later with pizza, and we sit, surrounded by...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 223. you fucking pigs.
Apr 25th
8 notes
2 tags
“Elliot is adorable and so different from Christian. He’s warm, open, physical,...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 223. right- because you’re lesbian for kate.
Apr 25th
3 notes
2 tags
“José joins us with a Chinese take-out at eight… We watch crap TV, drink...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 220. was it really? because last time i checked you were a virgin up to like five days ago and you’ve made two friends total.
Apr 25th
25 notes
When a girl has a stripper name
whatshouldwecallme: Her: Me:
Apr 25th
634 notes
2 tags
Apr 25th
3 notes
2 tags
“I am momentarily distracted from my dark night of the soul by Kate shouting.”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 207. el james listens to danger mouse?
Apr 25th
8 notes
2 tags
“I’d say he was completely smitten, but maybe he has a funny way of showing it.”...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 204. Say? Maybe? He was completely? Words? Question marks?
Apr 25th
80 notes
2 tags
“Christian squirts baby oil into his hand and then rubs my behind with careful...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 202. 50 shades of grey is sponsored by johnson & johnson.
Apr 25th
149 notes
2 tags
“Anal intercourse can be very pleasurable, trust me. But if we try it and you...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 186-187. so…
Apr 24th
37 notes
2 tags
“No fisting, you say. Anything else you object to?” he asks softly. I swallow....”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 186. just some normal talk with my normal boyfriend. the ole’ ball and chain as they say! talking about fisting and claiming people’s assholes. normal couple stuff.
Apr 24th
482 notes
2 tags
“Christian is standing on the porch in his jeans and leather jacket.”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 182. christian pictured below: also, #nohomo.
Apr 24th
8 notes
2 tags
“You look lovely, Anastasia. This halter-neck dress suits you, and I get to...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 177. it’s such a turn on when a guy compliments the neckline style of my dress.
Apr 24th
6 notes
2 tags
“He seems trés cool about it, Ana. Don’t sweat it.”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 177. you’re trés cool, kate. kate pictured below. super chouette!
Apr 24th
20 notes
2 tags
“Picking up a spear of asparagus, I gaze at him and bite my lip. Then very slowly...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 164. oh yeah- suck that asparagus dick! this book is so hot.* *no it’s not.
Apr 24th
184 notes
2 tags
“I have never taken drugs. In fact, I’m vehemently anti-drugs. I have a strict...”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 158-159. i find it hard to believe anyone as “sexually enlightened” as christian hasn’t toked at least once.
Apr 24th
13 notes
2 tags
“Christian is leaning casually against the bar, drinking a glass of white wine.”
– Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 156. #nohomo
Apr 24th
7 notes