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Christian reaches for the shampoo and starts washing his hair. He hands it to me and I follow suit.
Oh, this feels good. Closing my eyes, I succumb to the cleansing, warming water.

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 139.

has this bitch never taken a shower before? she’s essentially just washing her hair here, correct?

“Please, Christian—faster,” I murmur, wanting more, now.
“Oh no, baby. I need this slow.” He kisses me sweetly, gently biting my lower lip and absorbing my soft moans.
I move my hands into his hair and surrender myself to his rhythm as slowly and surely my body climbs higher and higher and plateaus, then falls hard and fast as I come around him.

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 135.

no woman can come this way. she literally asks for it faster- for her pleasure- he refuses, and she still comes? this is impossible.

Also, like, cool christian. super slow sex. cool.

He runs his teeth along my chin,

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 135.

is that, like, a thing?

“You are Aphrodite, Anastasia,” he murmurs.

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 134.

this bitch was a virgin like three weeks ago.

You opened the balcony door?” he asks, frowning down at me as we arrive in his room.
“No.” I don’t remember doing that. I recall scanning the room when I woke. The door was definitely closed.
Oh shit … All the blood rushes from my face, and I stare at Christian as my mouth falls open.
“What?” he snaps, glaring at me.
“When I woke … there was someone in here,” I whisper. “I thought it was my imagination.”
“What?” He looks horrified and dashes to the balcony door, peers out, then steps back into the room and locks the door behind him. “Are you sure? Who?” he asks his voice tight.
“A woman, I think. It was dark. I’d only just woken up.

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 126-127.

wow, for a dude that makes “one hundred thousand dollars every hour” he’s got a real crack security team. also am i supposed to believe that one of christian’s  anorexic ex-girlfriends scaled his apartment building to watch anastasia sleep and then jump off the balcony to escape? just seems like a bit much…

“It’s my body,” I mutter, annoyed that he hasn’t asked me.
“It’s mine, too,” he whispers.
I gaze up at him as various guests pass by, ignoring us. He looks so earnest. Yes, my body is his… he knows it better than I do.

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 121.

i just barfed.

Spontaneous applause erupts again, and out on the pontoon, a message lights up in silver streams of sparks forming the words Thank You From Coping Together, sparkling and shimmering over the water.

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 119.

"Coping Together" is a really bad name for a charity.

Good point well made, Miss Steele.

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 118.

obviously i haven’t starting tallying (until now) the countless uses of this nonexistent phrase, but here we go…

You’re under my skin, too,” I respond. “Or you were in your bedroom.

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 112.


…spiraling into a healing orgasm…

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 111.

wtf is a healing orgasm? ugh, shut up.