50 Shades of Suck

Per Kelly Marcel, screenwriter of 50 Shades of Grey, “It will be rated NC-17. It will be...

Tue, 08 Jan 2013 21:34:40 -0500

Per Kelly Marcel, screenwriter of 50 Shades of Grey, “It will be rated NC-17. It will be raunchy.”

yeah, no shit. stories that include men yanking out chicks tampons before fucking them for eight hours are usually rated nc-17.

source: http://www.vulture.com/2013/01/fifty-shades-screenwriter-itll-be-nc-17.html

well this should come as a suprise to no one...

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 18:35:02 -0400

the world’s worst author writes to the world’s worst music.

http://perezhilton.com/2012-09-08-fifty-shades-of-grey-author-el-james-sex-scenes-music-black-eyed-peas-sexy/?more=yes#more-268129

also, this is conceptually one of my favorite snl sketches:

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/our-time-with-taboo-and-apldeap/1404933

Thanks @BBSUsedBooks!

Thu, 02 Aug 2012 17:53:59 -0400

Thanks @BBSUsedBooks!

what does this remind you of?

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 12:51:40 -0400

If you said 50 SHADES OF GREY, I’m impressed, because it sure as shit doesn’t look like that to me. Marc New York is channeling 50SOG for their fall campaign- their first picture is seen above. Please, mistake me if I’m wrong here, but I don’t remember this scene from the book, as it clearly looks like they are in some sort of a underground bunker.

if you aren't following me on twitter...

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 18:45:20 -0400

you are seriously missing out because the 50 SHADES OF GREY fans have found me and they are NOT. LIKIN’. IT.

@50shadesofsuck

follow me @50shadesofsuck

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 20:30:23 -0400

follow me @50shadesofsuck

gets it real good

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 17:21:02 -0400

thanks sean

More 50 Shades Merch

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 12:50:00 -0400

Here are a few other pieces of 50 Shades Merchandise that I hope goes into production ASAP.

Tampons - Remember that time that Christian yanks out Anastasia’s bloody tampon so he can fuck her for the zillion time? Oh, you were trying to repress that horrible moment? Well now you and your significant other can re-enact it.
Cookware - Anastasia may not like to eat, but boy can she cook! Whether it be Spanish omelets or chicken stir fry, Anastasia slays it in the kitchen so let’s buy some pots and pans with a logo cheaply plastered on them. Appetite not included! (Get it? Because Anastasia doesn’t eat.)
Enema- Listen, we all know Anastasia has the cleanest anus on the block (because remember that time when Christian put a butt plug up there and then Anastasia found out after that he usually had his maid clean all the used butt plugs of his subs so Anastasia decides to clean her own and she remarks at how clean her used butt plug is. Remember how that was written about in a book that we paid money to buy? Anyway, before I have a rage blackout, 50 Shades Enemas.

50 Shades of Suck: The Merchandise Edition

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 15:29:00 -0400

Hi All,

Don’t know if you’ve heard, but in a brilliant ploy to make more money than anyone in the world, E.L. James and her marketing team have decided to create products based on her best-selling series. According to the LA Times blog, “The merchandise will include apparel, stationery items, hosiery, lingerie and accessories. Expect to see “Christian Grey” boxers and ties as well as lounge wear, sleepwear and T-shirts; the accessories would comprise bags, wallets, portfolios, key chains and underwear (for men and women). Stationery items will include journals and diaries.”

Whoever thought of this deserves a raise. And then deserves to be shot by a firing squad. But a raise first! The items listed above are to be expected, but I have a few more suggestions:

Orange Juice- If there is one thing in the world Anastasia loves to ingest (other than Christian Grey’s peen) it’s orange juice! This is a no-brainer.
Sex Toys- This should really go without saying…
Lube- Don’t you wish you could be as constantly wet as literature’s most abhorrent heroine? Now you can.
Cell-Phone / Beeper / Leash- Nothing is sexier than having a mildly psychotic boyfriend who alienates all your friends and makes sure you are completely codependent. But what happens when he can’t track you down? With the cell-phone, beeper and leash combo, he’ll never have to worry.
White Wine- A nice Sancerre perhaps? It is, after all, Christian’s favorite varietal. #nohomo

That’s all I got for now.

-Isabelle

Presenting Mia’s finest moments from 50 SHADES OF GREY.

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 21:24:47 -0400

Presenting Mia’s finest moments from 50 SHADES OF GREY.

@50shadesofsuck

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 16:59:49 -0400

follow me!

Logan Marshall-Green and Lena Dunham in "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 19:02:23 -0400

Logan Marshall-Green and Lena Dunham in "Fifty Shades of Grey":

let’s be honest, i’m going to the midnight screening even if they cast two pieces of dog shit, but i think this could be interesting…

spoke too soon

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 13:06:28 -0400

spoke too soon:

guess angelina isn’t directing. i think tom ford should direct it, i really do. he brought sexy back.

Angelina Jolie to possibly direct 50 Shades Film Adaptation

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 20:23:00 -0400

Angelina Jolie to possibly direct 50 Shades Film Adaptation:

well well well. i had heard rumors about this because i am a very powerful and connected person in the entertainment industry*, but now its gone so far as to become actual speculation on deadline.

i didn’t see angelina’s directorial debut “the land of blood and honey”, but that sounds gross and sexual, so i bet she will be very comfortable with another gross and sexual title.

*untrue

duh

Thu, 31 May 2012 13:21:14 -0400

duh:

vulture- new york magazine’s culture blog, compiled a list of the horrible 50 shades of grey synonyms. i can’t even make it through the article without getting PTSD.

the most fucked up thing about this crudely animated preview for...

Tue, 29 May 2012 16:14:03 -0400

the most fucked up thing about this crudely animated preview for 50 SHADES OF GREY (that no one asked for) is that is matches what I was picturing in my head a little too well. I’M FREAKING OUT.

also it features the tampon scene.

thanks Sean.

thanks @kona99

Fri, 25 May 2012 14:17:44 -0400

thanks @kona99

these old broads GET IT.

Thu, 24 May 2012 19:29:25 -0400

these old broads GET IT.

in my fantasies nick kroll plays christian grey. thanks jayne.

Tue, 22 May 2012 13:56:00 -0400

in my fantasies nick kroll plays christian grey.

thanks jayne.

just watch this...

Mon, 21 May 2012 16:13:00 -0400

just watch this...:

charlize theron gets it HARD. it’s funny to hear kristen stewart reading it since it’s based on her (sorta).