the world’s worst author writes to the world’s worst music.

http://perezhilton.com/2012-09-08-fifty-shades-of-grey-author-el-james-sex-scenes-music-black-eyed-peas-sexy/?more=yes#more-268129

also, this is conceptually one of my favorite snl sketches:

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/our-time-with-taboo-and-apldeap/1404933

If you said 50 SHADES OF GREY, I’m impressed, because it sure as shit doesn’t look like that to me. Marc New York is channeling 50SOG for their fall campaign- their first picture is seen above. Please, mistake me if I’m wrong here, but I don’t remember this scene from the book, as it clearly looks like they are in some sort of a underground bunker.

you are seriously missing out because the 50 SHADES OF GREY fans have found me and they are NOT. LIKIN’. IT.

@50shadesofsuck

thanks sean

Here are a few other pieces of 50 Shades Merchandise that I hope goes into production ASAP.

• Tampons - Remember that time that Christian yanks out Anastasia’s bloody tampon so he can fuck her for the zillion time? Oh, you were trying to repress that horrible moment? Well now you and your significant other can re-enact it.
• Cookware - Anastasia may not like to eat, but boy can she cook! Whether it be Spanish omelets or chicken stir fry, Anastasia slays it in the kitchen so let’s buy some pots and pans with a logo cheaply plastered on them. Appetite not included! (Get it? Because Anastasia doesn’t eat.)
• Enema- Listen, we all know Anastasia has the cleanest anus on the block (because remember that time when Christian put a butt plug up there and then Anastasia found out after that he usually had his maid clean all the used butt plugs of his subs so Anastasia decides to clean her own and she remarks at how clean her used butt plug is. Remember how that was written about in a book that we paid money to buy? Anyway, before I have a rage blackout, 50 Shades Enemas.